The Cat's Meow

groceries

2011-08-28T13:39:00.003-07:00

What are those?

Two Days a Year Just Aren't Enough...

2011-06-18T12:11:00.000-07:00

“Give it to him, stupid!” I heard one of my kids snap at my youngest daughter as she grabbed the Father’s Day gift from her sister’s hands. The comment was complete, of course, with eyes of steel daggers, and venomous drool flowing from pursed lips. Okay, okay. So I am exaggerating a bit. That was Father’s Day a few years ago.

Father’s Day and Mother’s Day, two days of the year where, for a few blissful moments, we oh, so sweet children come together as the Cleavers did to honor parents that love us and …okay … hear the record scratch yet? Are all families really this way? Sure there may be families out there that share moments like this. Someone even wrote a book about them…they hailed from that sweet lil community called Stepford.

I am definitely not attempting to belittle anyone’s celebration. I will absolutely tell people I know Happy Father’s Day. I told friends and my own mother Happy Mother’s Day. It’s just that I make my mother know that on Mother’s Day (as I did with my father on Father’s Day) that those days shouldn’t be the only days.

Why do I dislike those days so much? I am the oldest of 5 children and there was the normal amount of bickering between us. I enjoyed honoring my parents on those 2 nationally recognized days. My dad would always tell me that he wanted us to honor Father’s Day everyday, not just one day of the year. My mom agreed.

I believe the way my dad did…that Father’s Day (and Mother’s Day) is something that you recognize year ‘round. I love my girls. My kids understand my thinking on the subject and reciprocate, for the most part…I mean kids will be kids…But, celebrations should be a daily (or at least a weekly) joy, not simply a yearly obligation. I don’t mean physical gifting either…kind words, a touch, a smile, or a gesture.

Like I said, kids will be kids…and mine are growing up now. They are learning what I have been taught, what I have heard. I am glad my mom and dad taught me early in life that two days a year just aren't enough.

Parents as PARENTS, and the Foundation of God

2010-08-04T18:39:00.000-07:00

One of the most important aspects of a child’s life is the foundation of God. I speak from personal experience, both as a parent and a child growing up with this necessary groundwork. As parents we must be living examples of God’s love. It’s pertinent that we model this example through praying together, encouraging values and morals, and inspiring healthy, positive thinking in our children. Start early. Start now. Ask children what God means to them. Ask them what they think they mean to GOD. Reiterate God’s love and grace to them. Tell them of a forgiving God. Children may ask where God is. Time to break out The Word! Our love for our children and God’s love for us is evident, as is His existence. This spiritual basis is significant to the family as a whole. I could really use the nickels for every time I have heard a shrugging parent say, “everybody is doing it” and “every kid drinks.” So, therefor it is accepted? Who’s the parent here! What happened? Where are the "old days”? When was it that some dark, secret, teenage society came up with the idea that Mom and/or Dad being a friend would be way cooler? When was it that parents agreed to this concept of “befriending your child”?
While a child or adolescent wants to be independent, they still need the loving and spiritual guidance of their parent(s)/guardian. They require, and whether or not they ask for it, they want structured involvement, and boundaries. They can make friends in the school lunch line. Don’t cave when your child boasts, “I’m almost an adult” or “I already know what I am supposed to be doing (or what I am not supposed to do)” or, the ever so popular, “EVERYBODY is doing it!” Respecting independent physical, or thinking, behaviors doesn't mean that a parent should stop being a parent. For example, a kid can decide what to wear to a party, but it’s the parent’s job to set the limitations, one being the dreaded curfew. Establish reasonable curfews according to the activity. (Truly…what is there to do after a movie when it starts at 7 pm, and the curfew is midnight?) Ask questions! Just because a parent inquires, doesn’t mean they are prying in every nook and cranny. It’s pertinent to the child’s welfare to be aware of their interests, friendships, and whereabouts.
Let your child know you are there to communicate. Even if they don’t come you first (or at all), make sure he/she knows they can. Have open ears, and make not only rules, but also allowances that are meant to provide clean learning experiences. Be a positive, law abiding, spiritual role model for him/her.
No one tossed a manual to me after birth with a wink and snickered, “Good luck.” There is not enough Calgon in the world to get away from the typical head to head combat with a child/teen. I’ve heard my share of, “You’re ruining my life!” and “Stop treating me like a kid.” (While sometimes I want to pull my hair out and claim loudly, “Well, you ARE a kid. Look in the mirror!”, I am learning to keep my mouth shut and take a step backward.) This is where I raise a brow, exercise my fingers, break out The Good Book, and my Christian values cruise into play. So when you are challenged by your child, remember it is cool to be a parent, and to leave the camaraderie to the comrades. You're really not doing it alone, you know.

Can you spare the time?

2010-06-28T07:39:00.000-07:00

Families in the 1950s sat at the dinner table morning and evening after mom turned off the modest black and white TV in the living room. Where did the time go? While technology skyrocketed its way to heaven, family-time has gone to hell. Don’t you have countless memories when waiting for that new person to care for; to cuddle, to share? How many times did you straighten those receiving blankets, caress the edge of the crib like a soft rabbit, or feel the round of a belly….Only to have drive-thru dinners in your kitchen, Styrofoam disks flying across the counter, with the television blaring? And, didn’t you have 4 kids? Where are those two other children of ours??
Sure, life is a busy place, but didn’t you take the time to (or many of you did) plan for this family? This has been on my mind lately. It’s “Family Fun Day”, not “Part of the Family Fun Day Because She Would Be Bored So She Went to a Friend’s House Day.” It’s not standing in the kitchen at 5:33 pm and 6:20 pm and 6:42 pm slinging cold green beans onto a paper plate along with something that looks like it might come up off of the foil, and then retreating to the living room and back to the latest episode of "something" on the Disney Channel.
Try something phenomenal. It’s called …are you ready for this?...eating together! *GASP* Yes, it means all at once. Did you know that FAMILY mealtime (along with proper rest, and less television also known as TECHNOLOGY) can actually improve your child’s health and grades?(1) Studies also show that children/teens that attend the family dinner table are less likely to abuse drugs!(2) STAY CONNECTED.An important key to being a good parent is knowing that the lines of communication are always open. Talk, and share your child’s day, even if it is all about iPods, a current crush, a bad hair day, or something that may seem insignificant to you. Don't drop the connection. Get involved again. Your family deserves it.

(1)http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/02/100208091916.htm
(2)http://family.samhsa.gov/get/mealtime.aspx

Autism-like?

2010-06-05T07:45:00.000-07:00

Very interesting. There are children out there that have been wrongfully diagnosed. Saying that doesn't mean they don't need assistance but that the real issue isn't be taken care of.

,

Is God in charge of Hell, and just WHO is He watching?

2010-06-03T17:42:00.000-07:00

Hell is defined by the Catechism of the Catholic Church (paragraph 1033) - Wikipedia:

We cannot be united with God unless we freely choose to love him. But we cannot love God if we sin gravely against him, against our neighbor or against ourselves: "He who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him."610 Our Lord warns us that we shall be separated from him if we fail to meet the serious needs of the poor and the little ones who are his brethren.611 To die in mortal sin without repenting and accepting God's merciful love means remaining separated from him for ever by our own free choice. This state of definitive self- exclusion from communion with God and the blessed is called "Hell." (Wiki)

“Presently the Roman Catholic Church teaches that neither Heaven nor Hell is, in the proper sense, a place, created or uncreated, and that each is a question of one's personal relationship with the Trinity.” (Wiki)

The Protestants have their own views. One Protestant view of Hell is expressed in the Westminster Confession (1646):
"but the wicked, who know not God, and obey not the gospel of Jesus Christ, shall be cast into eternal torments, and punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power." (Chapter XXXIII, Of the Last Judgment-Wikipedia)

Author Peter Chopelas is quoting saying that “the idea that God is an angry figure who sends those He condemns to a place called Hell, where they spend eternity in torment separated from His presence, is missing from the Bible and unknown in the early church. While Heaven and Hell are decidedly real, they are experiential conditions rather than physical places, and both exist in the presence of God. In fact, nothing exists outside the presence of God. This is not the way traditional Western Christianity, Roman Catholic or Protestant, has envisioned the afterlife. In Western thought Hell is a location, a place where God punishes the wicked, where they are cut off from God and the Kingdom of Heaven. Yet this concept occurs nowhere in the Bible, and does not exist in the original languages of the Bible.” http://aggreen.net/beliefs/heaven_hell.html

The question is, who gets into hell? There are many scriptures that clearly state the only way to avoid “hell” is by not denying God and His word. As in John 5:24 - "Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life." And Luke 12:10 - “And whosoever shall speak a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but unto him that blasphemeth against the Holy Ghost it shall not be forgiven.”

My personal belief is there is no place where Satan stands high on a cliff waving his mighty pitchfork commanding the wicked to shovel more coal into the fire. But, rather a presence of a place. First of all, God created this spiritual place of condemnation, not Satan, so therefor shouldn't God be in hell just as He is in heaven? My depiction of Hell is much more than a physical location. I believe it is a crushed, spiritual sensation within the tormented or condemned, and the relationship the ill-fated have (or don't have) with God. Maybe it is a subconscious "place" for those who deny God's grace, and are sentenced to eternal condemnation; to be consciously aware of the tedium of pain, and of a literal or subliminal fire, boredom and suffering. This is not to say that I do not believe in "hell", but would a loving God of creation truly condemn His creations to eternal "torment"? God did say, "I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked" (Ezekiel 33:11)
Possibly only a sentence of a conscious death, as in Rom 6:23—"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Summer and the Kids...

2010-05-17T17:24:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I haven't actually blogged in good while, but I want to start again. It's not only therapeutic, but fun and informative on occasion. I am going to start slow. For the next week or so I will be posting some activities for the family this summer? Get off the couch, turn off the Wii, PSP, XBOX, PlayStation6021 (kidding), and GO somewhere. Fine, text your kid that is upstairs on his or her bed listening to his or her iPod and GO somewhere. I am posting some links for the Oklahoma City Metro area, as well as some excursions (AKA) educational things to do, and places to go.

WARREN THEATER - Moore, OK
For the movie-goers, the Warren theater in Moore is offering their Summer Kids Series Season Passes. For 15 bucks you pay $2 to see a show. They will have 10 movies this summer. The movies are listed in the link.

Oklahoma City Zoo
On Wednesdays during July and August, your family can enjoy special retro pricing and receive admission to the Zoo for only $1! There will also be $1 rides and concession specials. (When we went to this event before the hotdogs, drinks, and popcorn were only 75 cents each!)

The Blue Whale - Catoosa, OK

Two hours away from the OKC metro, but a fun, historical place to picnic off of Rt.66.

How adventurous is your family? Try climbing Mount Scott! Medicine Park, OK. Take backpacks, picnic, take in the view. Don't forget your camera!

Swim parks and Spraygrounds! Great for ALL ages!
Earlywine Swim Park is in Moore, OK, or Mustang Water Park in Mustang, OK.

My Youngest

2008-12-29T15:05:00.000-08:00

Flaunting smiles of honey and mischief,
She gently brushes hair of silk behind her ears.
With eyes, remarkably lustrous, she awaits the next discovery.

With each grin, she bares billowy cheeks of sweetness
and whispers faintly, perhaps to the creatures in the sand.
Her quiet laughter, the sweet sounds no harp can equal.

Her tiny figure is bent to unearth new endeavors.
Knees familiar with dust and play, venture from soft tresses of pale pink.
Her small fingers curiously test new boundaries of coarse ground.

Oblivious to the measures in the world around her,
with a furrowed brow she determines the importance of her findings.
Her eyes widen with rapturous understanding of a world of fleeting substance.

If only to be lost in the mind of a child once again,
to float freely in a cerebral land of contentment.

Copyright ©2004

Misc. Copyrighted Poetry

2008-12-29T14:48:00.000-08:00

As he walks, kicking snow the boy remembers.
His father; how tall and strong, silent.

Looking up to the stars, he blinks in the falling snow.
He remembers the day that took his hero.

He remembers how he must have saved a woman from the firey building.
He can see his stong arms carrying others to the street.

The boy plunges cold hands into his pockets.
He will be brave on this Christmas day.

He will remember a hero.
And he will smile.

copyright ©2001

******

A Child Sleeps

I watch in silence so as not to wake her.
Such innocence, unaware of worldly woe.
To be so content in her surroundings.
She knows no stranger, knows no foe.

Her lashes fall to her cheeks, shadowing them softly.
With small hands tucked under her face,
she sighs in her sleep as if whispering to angels.
What a quiet, calm place.

Wisps of fawn tinted hair drape her shoulder.
She sleeps in beauty; her skin unimaginably fair.
I brush a strand from her face.
Smiling, she dreams without care.

Copyright ©2000

********

Journey

Let us journey under the hazy sky;
of course, the night will be long, so
venture into eternity with me, inhaling
every moment, exhaling every dream.

Tranquillity alone means nothing, but
always will be the time we share. Affectionately, I
envelope the testimony of
kindness from your lips with
every breath of soft spoken word.

Silence broken with one last lingering kiss, we dance.
Trust in knowing no matter
how far the distance between us, we will be one in
every way.

When you feel the slightest twinge
of lonely desire in the midst of your being do
Remember that I
long for your touch,
don't dismay.

Go. Run swiftly.
Raining tears of determination, I will find you
on whatever terms are set
under the midnight sky,
No fear will keep me away from my
Dear companion.

copyright ©2008

TheImproper.Com and Kirstie Alley story...Nails on a chalkboard

2008-06-21T08:15:00.000-07:00

Ok...I can take someone not using spell check ALL the time, but grammatical errors from a "credible" news source are unspeakable! Check out...HAVE TO LAUGH at the irony of the title and their hideous mistake...of TheImproper.Com's news report on Kirstie Alley...Can you find the mistake??? OK, I will bold it to make it easier...

Kirstie Alley Losing Weight Battle
Former 'Jenny Craig' spokeswoman now looks heavier than ever
By TheImproper.com

Actress Kirstie Alley is losing the battle of the bulge, as this photo (to right) taken of her in Los Angeles on June 1 shows her looking heavier than ever.
Alley, 57, was dropped a few months ago as the spokesperson of weight-loss company Jenny Craig after having been its public face for three years. Alley has since been replaced by actress Valerie Bertinelli, 48, who has slimmed down considerably since taking over as spokeswoman.

A few months ago, Alley had indicated she was planning to launch her own weight-loss brand sometime in 2009. But given her ballooning weight, it's unclear whether she's moving forward on that project.
Meanwhile, the former Cheers star has reportedly signed on to star alongside James Brolin in the comedy Nailed, her first feature role since 2002.
Alley, once a superfit ingenue (see left), has battled huge weight fluctuations for years, and has also overcame drug abuse. She's divorced from actor Parker Stevenson and reached a high point in her weight battle when she appeared in a bikini on the Oprah Winfrey Show in 2006. Unbelieveable.

FREE Literary Audio Files.....

2008-04-25T12:15:00.000-07:00

I found these files online. It can really make a difference in understanding the text if you listen...really listen...to it being read aloud. These are not done by me.

<<<~~~CHECK OUT THE LINKS TO THE LEFT!

W. B. YEATS

2008-04-25T11:26:00.000-07:00

...Haven't been able to blog in a while. My PC at home is slow and my work PC restricts the site. FINALLY, I am here. I am doing my final paper for my LIT class. I am going to write about Yeats' The Song of the Wandering Aengus. William Butler Yeats was from Ireland, and wrote this in County Galway, where my grandmother was born.
Here is the poem. Enjoy!

The Song of the Wandering Aengus
by William Butler Yeats

I went out to the hazel wood,
Because a fire was in my head,
And cut and peeled a hazel wand,
And hooked a berry to a thread;
And when white moths were on the wing,
And moth-like stars were flickering out,
I dropped the berry in a stream
And caught a little silver trout.

When I had laid it on the floor
I went to blow the fire a-flame,
But something rustled on the floor,
And some one called me by my name:
It had become a glimmering girl
With apple blossom in her hair
Who called me by my name and ran
And faded through the brightening air.

Though I am old with wandering
Through hollow lands and hilly lands,
I will find out where she has gone,
And kiss her lips and take her hands;
And walk among long dappled grass,
And pluck till time and times are done
The silver apples of the moon,
The golden apples of the sun.

Well...I am back to WalMart....

2008-04-05T19:03:00.000-07:00

They dropped the suit against Debbie Shank...SMART MOVE, WM!

What would Sam Walton think about Debbie Shank??

2008-03-29T12:13:00.000-07:00

In my most humble opinion, Walmart has hit the gutter since its founder, Sam Walton died. The associate-to-customer relationship is as cold and as inviting as the 2 day old taco in my refrigerator. I overheard a conversation at my local Walmart recently: When a manager asked by a consumer why the store was set up differently, with some items harder to find, the manager replied, "Because we have more Mexicans that whites...and this store is for them." WHAT?? What is wrong with these people?? Mexican, black, white..it shouldn't matter. Where is the equality? Do they THINK they have so much money NOW that they can treat us like that? NOT ANYMORE! I am taking MY business elsewhere! Check out this story: A woman, Debbie Shank of Missouri, a Walmart employee, suffered severe brain damage in traffic accident. She was later awarded money to cover attorney fees, loss of future pay, and life long debilitation. WALMART wants their share back...the health insurance contract states that she must pay BACK what she recoups in a lawsuit. The husband explained that the money was for their survival. Debbie can no longer work, her son was recently killed while serving in Iraq, the husband is a cancer survivor. Debbie will need lifelong rehabilitation, etc. Supreme Court said sorry, give it back. WALMART STINKS. They are a multi-billion dollar company worried about what would amount to pocket change. I am boycotting..Target, here I come!

http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/03/25/walmart.insurance.battle/index.html

Things that go BUMP in my brain...

2008-03-10T11:41:00.000-07:00

Pretentious...

Showy, ostentatious, pompous...

“I can’t come in today…I have a pretentious headache.” Why are some people pretentious? Do they assume it is a personality draw? I like it when people use good grammar and have impeccable spelling (typos not included). But, I can’t stand it when people try to impress others with ridiculous jargon and feel a desire to inject eleven letter words into every sentence, every other word. I’m not impressed people that talk (or write very informal writings) as if the ghost of Edgar Allen Poe were sitting on their shoulder. I know of two extreme examples. I have a very different definition of Pretentious. BSism. Wonder if Webster will take one? Maybe pretentious behavior stems from a lack of self esteem?
With that, I leave you to excogitate the enormity of my position.

"Where's the BEET?!"

2008-02-18T08:23:00.000-08:00

NOT to be confused with BEEF. Are you willing to eat cloned meat and poultry? Let me rephrase that...are you willing to feed your children cloned meat and poultry? I'm not. SO, the latest report is (I have to laugh here) that the Govt. says it is "OK" to eat cloned meat. OK! OK?? HOW could they possibly know if it is OK to eat this stuff? There hasn't been enough time to determine what is "OK" for us to put into our bodies. We are already deteriorating from the garbage that is put into the air, much less junk into our bodies. If there was ever a time to go Veggan, it is NOW.
Resource:
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1714146,00.html
Here is some information from another site of interest on the reasons NOT to eat cloned meat products: http://www.ornl.gov/sci/techresources/Human_Genome/elsi/cloning.shtml

What are the risks of cloning? "Reproductive cloning is expensive and highly inefficient. More than 90% of cloning attempts fail to produce viable offspring. More than 100 nuclear transfer procedures could be required to produce one viable clone. In addition to low success rates, cloned animals tend to have more compromised immune function and higher rates of infection, tumor growth, and other disorders. Japanese studies have shown that cloned mice live in poor health and die early. About a third of the cloned calves born alive have died young, and many of them were abnormally large. Many cloned animals have not lived long enough to generate good data about how clones age. Appearing healthy at a young age unfortunately is not a good indicator of long term survival. Clones have been known to die mysteriously. For example, Australia's first cloned sheep appeared healthy and energetic on the day she died, and the results from her autopsy failed to determine a cause of death.
In 2002, researchers at the Whitehead Institute for Biomedical Research in Cambridge, Massachusetts, reported that the genomes of cloned mice are compromised. In analyzing more than 10,000 liver and placenta cells of cloned mice, they discovered that about 4% of genes function abnormally. The abnormalities do not arise from mutations in the genes but from changes in the normal activation or expression of certain genes.
Problems also may result from programming errors in the genetic material from a donor cell. When an embryo is created from the union of a sperm and an egg, the embryo receives copies of most genes from both parents. A process called "imprinting" chemically marks the DNA from the mother and father so that only one copy of a gene (either the maternal or paternal gene) is turned on. Defects in the genetic imprint of DNA from a single donor cell may lead to some of the developmental abnormalities of cloned embryos."

MORE Cloning Problems
Cloned Mice Have Genomic Flaws - Article from the Genome News Network (September 2002).
Tears of a Clone - Article from The Guardian (April 19, 2002).
Cloned Monkey Embryos Are a "Gallery of Horrors" - Article from NewScientist.com (December 12, 2001).
Imprinting Marks Clones for Death: Unstable Genes Make Normal Clones Unlikely - Article from Nature News Service (July 6, 2001).
Clones Contain Hidden DNA Damage - Article from NewScientist.com (July 6, 2001).
The Awful Truth - Article from New Scientist (May 19, 2001).

THISCITYISGOINGONADIET.COM

2008-01-25T07:28:00.000-08:00

So, who is with me? I heard Mayor Cornett talking about the new site this morning. I am going to join along!

Here are some refridgerator closing facts:

Oklahoma ranks 15th in diabetes deaths.

About 1.5 million Oklahoma adults are overweight and of those, 500,000 are obese.

Fifteen percent of teenagers are considered "severely overweight or obese" -- a 300 percent increase in the past 20 years. (300%!)

Only 37 percent of Oklahoma students are enrolled in physical education compared with almost 58 percent nationally.

Since 1990, the prevalence of obesity in Oklahoma has increased 131 percent.

In Tulsa County, almost 47 percent of third- through fifth-grade students had a body mass index greater than the 85 percentile, making them at risk for becoming overweight.

Hospital costs attributed to child obesity quadrupled from 1980 to the late 1990s. All these statistics, the mayor believes, have consequences. Sedentary lifestyles, coupled with being overweight or obesen are linked to heart disease, diabetes, hypertension, liver disease, certain cancers, asthma, sleep apnea and orthopedic challenges.

(http://www.tulsaworld.com/opinion/article.aspx?subjectID=61&articleID=20080105_7_G6_hHowT61653)

Check out the new site! JOIN!

http://www.thiscityisgoingonadiet.com/Default.aspx
This site is great, too:

http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/obesity/trend/maps/

Bullying in the Community

2007-04-22T15:14:00.000-07:00

Thousands of children fear going to school each day because they know they will be tormented and humiliated by a bully. According to an on line research study, a different child is bullied every seven minutes (www.stopbullyingnow.com). Bullies are other children that taunt the weaker kids, to prove their own sense of worth. What does a bully look like? They look like the victim, but are usually more aggressive toward his or her peers and adults. They are easily angered and impulsive.

The popular belief is that the bully is of low self esteem and very insecure. This is not true as most bullies are just the opposite. They have little trouble making friends and are often in the “cool” crowd of their peers. They exhibit inappropriate behaviors such as drinking and have little respect for people and their property. Often, these acts of violence toward others are just an antecedent to bigger problems they will run into as an adult. Bullies are 4 times more likely to be convicted of a crime by the time they are 24 years of age than their non –bullying peers (www.safeyouth.org). Many times the bullying that starts with taunting smaller children on the playground turns into gang activity, aggravation in the workplace and jail time.
Whether the victim of bullying is weaker, physically or psychologically, bullying leaves its mark, sometimes permanently. There are countless web sites of documented cases in which bullied children and teens committed suicide. Approximately 5000 suicide deaths per year are children ages 5-14. Most are due to depression caused by bullying and the fear that it will never end (www.jaredsstory.co). According to www.bullying.org, bullying is a conscious, willful, intentional, aggressive act that is inflicted by one or more persons intending to cause physical, psychological or emotion harm. Bullying behaviors can be in may forms such as verbal taunts, physical assaults, extortion of money (the old bullying standard “Give me your lunch money or else!”), public humiliation and intimidation (www.bullying.org).

As a new student and 6th grader in Connecticut, I was dubbed the “Colorado Creep” by some bullies in the school. My right to enjoy or at least partake in a Free and Appropriate Education were denied when I had to defend myself daily from a small group of despiteful, biased children. Whether it was name calling, peer exclusion or just throwing my purse across the room, the teacher never seemed to notice. I would look at her pleadingly, hoping that no one saw the tears, but she continually ignored my troubles.

More often than physical abuse, verbal bullying may have long term affects on the child. Bullies often force the other child to be excluded from peer groups. Barbara Coloroso writes that Bullying is not an anger issue but an issue of contempt. When the bully feels a strong dislike toward his or her intended victim, they go to such efforts to make the child feel inferior and worthless (The Bully, the bullied and the Bystander: How Parents and Teachers Can Help Break the Cycle, Pub. Harper Collins.)

Typically, children that are bullied show some signs of the abuse. They tend to be withdrawn, cry easily, have a drop in grades, fear going to school and may have physical signs of abuse. Recently, my 6 year old daughter complained of fatigue and stomach aches. At first I thought she wasn’t getting enough sleep at night but after talking to the teacher and the school counselor, I found out that two children had been threatening her on the playground. Even a kindergartener dreads the few minutes they receive of playtime.

Many parents believe that bullying is a stage of growth. Bullying isn’t a normal stage of childhood or adolescence. There is nothing normal about taking away a child’s liberties, causing them anxiety and making them feel inferior. It is not socially acceptable and people that bully know that it is undesirable behavior. It is compassion and remorse the bully lacks that permits them to believe that they are not committing intolerable acts. When children are being bullying they should alert an adult as most bullying occurs out of the teacher’s or parent’s sight.

While research implies that over half of school-age children have been bullied (www.antibullying.net), many times these children feel that telling on the bully will only make things worse. When adults and peers get involved, bullying stops in most cases (bullying.org.)The parent should call the school immediately and keep notes as to the names of those bullying and dates and places where it took place. Bullying is not a congenital issue. It is a learned behavior that can be stopped.

Bullying is not just a school concern. Many times the one doing the bullying takes it farther than the school grounds; to work, home and in the community, not only by means of verbal or physical threats, but in the form of sexual and/or racial harassment. Not only teachers and parents, but society should deal with bullies as a whole. Adults have to model to children and talk openly about the short term and long term affects of bullying. Public service announcements should be made by local television stations during peak watch times and doing children’s programming.
As an 11 year old in Colorado, I was bullied in a catholic school because I was Baptist, and I cried almost daily, dreading the next school day. I would hide from the kids that bullied me, missing my recess. A time that should be spent playing with friends was spent crouching behind bushes and prickly shrubs praying I wouldn’t be seen by a large number of girls that would hold me down while the “leader of the pack” circled me with name calling. A very tall girl held my arms while others kicked me. I remember feeling let down when telling the teacher my fears. Her solution to my problem was always, “Go play and ignore them.” I felt completely unprotected and disappointed by the people that were supposed to be grown up. I was continually bullied through my freshman year of middle school. I often wondered “why me?” I know I wasn’t outgoing, but I certainly wasn’t an introvert. My parents didn’t buy the latest clothing for me, so my popularity was stunted fashion-wise. That could have been an issue. We moved around a lot so I was always the “new kid” in school. I never had the chance to establish my possibly, potential coolness with my peers.

When I was in the 8th grade, I was picked on by a girl by the name of Jeanette XXXXX. I can’t even remember my best friend’s first name, yet I remember my bully’s full name! To this day, even saying her name makes me nauseated and incensed. She had no right to make me so miserable. I remember every inch of what she looked like. Her brown boots that I was afraid of, because they were often kicking me, were old and dusty. She had 2 girls that followed her around. I called them her “Hench girls”. They never spoke out of turn. They only laughed and nodded when Jeanette tormented me in front of my peers. Why couldn’t she wait until no one was around to call me names or kick me, throw rocks at me? I vividly remember running home from the bus stop on many days to avoid being pelted by icy snowballs in the winter. One warmer day I walked out onto the field behind my school with a friend. Behind me, I heard footsteps and as a turned around Jeanette and her girls approached me. Jeanette said, “Farrah,” (I had long curly hair so she dubbed me Farrah as a joke, after one of Charlie’s Angels), “hold my coat.” She threw her coat my way, but I stood my ground and let it drop to the dusty soil. She was furious, but completely dismayed! She yelled at me and demanded that I “pick it up now!” I said, “You do it.” She picked it up, blaming me for a hole in the arm area, but I told her I didn’t do it. I stood there staring at her, my heart pounding and my jaw clenched. I didn’t care if she punched me or kicked me. I wasn’t going to budge. I was tired of her reign. She turned and walked away from me. I can’t tell you how relieved I was to have my nose still intact! My friend had been watching, of course, and was so proud of me that she hugged me right there on school grounds. She had defended me to this girl before and wanted me to stand up to her. Jeanette never bothered me again. Months of hiding, of being afraid, and I was now free of this bully.

Many times, though, standing up to a bully isn’t always the best solution. Things can go wrong and the victim may be hurt physically, as the problem remains unsolved with the bully more aggravated than before. Most school districts have evoked no tolerance policies concerning bullying. Some schools have developed anti-bullying committees. As a community, we need to call on police, social assistance personnel, the chamber of commerce and local assembly people to build committees to come up with ways prevent bullying. The boards already in place hold meetings, send flyers and educate the children, parents and district staff about bullying. Anti-bullying organizations need to come up with ways to make the public aware of the problem through research and discussion.

Anonymous surveys can be distributed within the community to get the ideas and beliefs from people concerning issues of bullying. The agencies should send the message that bullying is wrong, is an intolerable act on an individual and infringes the rights of the victim. The Committee should outline a plan how the bullying can be prevented and what to do when a case arises. Before applying the strategies developed, the school staff needs to assess a particular situation of bullying.

Counselors within the district need to be trained to complete the task of approaching a negative situation or else strategies used may fail (antibullying.net).
Several strategies for successful anti-bullying are:

• Punishments: While I believe temporarily suspending a student may send a message that intolerable acts of violence in any form are not acceptable, I have an issue with expulsion. Expelling a child from school puts them at risk for unsupervised activities and may only make the situation worse.

• Counseling: Only those persons trained to deal with bullying situations should be in a counseling position to successfully deal with this issue. Untrained personnel sets the program up for certain failure. A person that consistently bullies may have many underlying problems for doing so and these issues need to be addressed in order to have a successful resolution.

• Mediation: Having a trained third party assist in negotiations may be of some help, unless the bully refuses this form of strategy and has no interest in ending the bullying.

• Peer Counseling: Highs school students counseling middle school children appeals to me. The younger kids look up to the older kids so as the high schoolers role model for these children, I feel that this could have a positive outcome.

• Bully Boxes (antibullying net): Children can, anonymously, write their concerns on pieces of paper and put into a box to be discussed among staff members.

• Safe rooms (one that I might have benefited from): Schools set up rooms where children that are bullied can go during breaks or lunchtime. Although, only an “out” for the one being bullied, it would provide a break from the tormenter temporarily.

• Monitoring: The teacher must effectively monitor the actions of the children in the classroom. This also goes for parents at home and workers in daycare settings.

According to antibullying.net, there are two types of victims: the passive victim and the reactive victim. My 9 year old daughter is a passive victim of bullying. She cries, and withdraws from the situation. She does not fight back. My 12 year old tends to be a reactive victim. She isn’t so malicious that she is a bully herself but retaliates when bullied then finds someone younger or weaker than her to bully. I think this makes her look more aggressive than weak in the bully’s eyes and his or her attention is reverted. That is only my theory from experience as a bullied child and a mother of bullied children.

Victims of peer abuse tend to have more health problems, have long term psychological issues and report greater fear and anxiety in social situations. Looking at the site www.kidpower.org, you will find many different ways to educate children about dealing with and abstaining from bullying. They teach grade school and middle school age children how to “be aware” of their surroundings, how to act with confidence, and how to take charge” by removing themselves from a potentially dangerous situation. KidPower also shows adults how to role model situations with their children to help them be more aware.

Assertiveness is a key element in avoiding a bully. Children that hold their heads up high and carry themselves with confidence can actually discourage bullies. Children should be asked questions about whether or not they bully other children, such as have they ever called another child names? Have they ever spread a rumor about another child? What would you do if you saw someone being bullied? Would you tell an adult if you witnessed another being bullied? Family workshops are also available through kidspower.org. Role modeling techniques are imperative and may be effective for any age.

Teaching a young child the negative affects of bullying at an early age helps them cope with bullying issues they may encounter in their classroom.
In addition to education, the children should know that it is okay to go to an adult in a potentially dangerous circumstance. Children that do not have adults to role model, and become bullies, have failed to learn how to control their emotions and connect effectively with their peers. These skills are a necessary part of adulthood, because without interference, the bully lacks emotional advancement and does not develop compassion for others. A bully never really learns to develop good relationships and usually blames others for their problems. Adults that bullied usually have children that bully others. Without education and cooperation of the community to control bullying, the cycle will not be broken.

Bullying affects everyone involved. Witnesses to bullying incidents report that they feel helpless in protecting a classmate being bullied. They feel guilt and remorse in not reporting the incident. Some witnesses feel that they will be a victim of the one bullying if they interfere (www.safeyouth.org). Taking legal action against a bully may be an option for an adult, but for a parent to sue the school or the parents of the one responsible for the abusive actions, there may be consequences for the victim. The child may return to school to be ridiculed and further bullied for “tattling.”

Another, less rational halt to bullying, would be moving from the district. Although, I wouldn’t recommend this as an educator, it did work in my case. After my 8th grade, my father changed jobs and we moved from New Mexico to Missouri. Soon, the bullying resumed with name calling and intimidation. How could they possibly know hundreds of miles away that I was called Farrah by the bullies before? Soon after the move, my grades slipped dramatically and I developed health problems such as stomach aches, headaches and even had fainting spells on school mornings. My attendance was so poor that my grade point average plunged to a D-. Again, we moved to a town about 15 miles away. I thought it was due to my dad’s job until I over heard my parents arguing about me, the new school and my lack of friends. The bullying stopped with this new school. For some strange reason, no one cared that I had blonde, curly hair, that I was a bit shy and that I didn’t wear the latest trends on my back. I was released from the restraints of torment that I had endured for the last 3 plus years. I remember actually smiling again on school mornings, almost with tears in my eyes.

Bottom line, it is the job of the community to see that every child and every adult not be put into a situation where they are physically, psychologically or socially violated. With education and unity, we can make an effort to eradicate bullying. It is society’s job to let the bully know that it is not acceptable and will not be tolerated under any circumstance or there will be consequences. We have to communicate to our children that it is important to play, run, laugh and have positive peer interaction. Childhood should be spent enjoying life, not fearing it while hiding in the bushes from a bully.

2007-04-06T05:50:00.000-07:00

George Carlin DID NOT write this...

2007-03-27T08:24:00.000-07:00

This was written by someone and circulated naming George Carlin as the author. Mr. Carlin has denied authoring this.** I did like it, though, and am posting it as an anonymous commentary only, not as something Mr. Carlin wrote...**(per http://www.georgecarlin.com/home/home.html)

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American.
I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid
level governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!

I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way!

I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you a smart
American.

I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does
not entitle you to anything.

I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, do it in English.

I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where
they want to.

My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever canceled
Jerry Springer.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.

I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing
about it.

I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I haven't burned any witches
or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So, shut up already.

I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where
you came from and change your own country! This is AMERICA.

I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend Jesse
Jackson preaches, where he gets his money, and why he is always part of the
problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?

I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry rear if you're
running from them..

I also think they have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the
law, regardless of what color you are.

And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers license. I
think it's good..... and I'm proud that "God" is written on my money.

I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I don't want
you deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in the world for the
next four years.

I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me
stuff or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their cause.

I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it takes two
parents.

And what is going on with gas prices... again?

I believe "illegal" is illegal no matter what the lawyers think.

I believe the American flag should be the only one allowed in AMERICA!

If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD American.

We want our country back!

We NEED GOD BACK IN OUR COUNTRY!

California wants to ban smoking in one city...for now.

2007-03-15T09:30:00.000-07:00

And, I am ALL for it! I would love to see the medical stats in 20 years. In 20 years will we see a dramatic drop in the number of lung cancer cases? Will the 20 year permanent resident be lung disease free in the year 2027? I would like to think so. Will the residents move? Will the commuter smoke more on the job? Get in those last few drags before crossing the city line? I hope that more cities/states follow suit and ban smoking for everyone's sake. Let's ban smoking and make this planet a cleaner place to breathe. I could care less if this offends a smoker. It irritates me to no end to see smokers in their car, lighting up, with children in the backseat. If you don't care about yourself, think about your kids' health! Your child is many times MORE likely to be diagnosed with lung cancer as an adult that a child with non smoking parents. My father died 4 months after being diagnosed with lung cancer. You don't to need to witness the death process of this disease to know how monsterous it is. If you have and you still smoke, well, that makes you an idiot. Ohhh, too hard to quit?? BALONEY! My dad smoked for several years. He quit smoking 12 yrs before his diagnosis. His Dr. said had he quit LONG before that, he may not have been diagnosed with it at all. So, NOW is the time to stop smoking. www.lungcancer.org has all the info you need. Check it out.

Missing your dog? He MAY be keeping your ears warm!

2007-03-13T09:22:00.000-07:00

If you haven't turned on your TV lately and are wearing a "fake fur" coat, I suggest you turn on your set. "Fake" fur coats may very well be made using dog fur, possibly even cat fur. The news reported states Raccoon Dogs are being used to keep us warm around the collar. Raccoon Dogs are not raccoons but canines that resemble raccoons (picture above). China exports the fur used for fake fur coats, as well as a few other companies. Sonmeof the animals are domestic dogs, such as German Sheperds. Some have alledged that many animals are household pets that have been stolen for the fur trade. Below are some websites of interest. BEWARE one site (Voice4Dogs) has extremely graphic pictures to show the consumer just how inhumane these these animals are killed; slaughtered and skinned while still alive. Go hug your pooch. Pictured is one of the coats made from the dog fur distributed by JC Penney.

www.voice4dogs.org This allows you to make contributions. WWW.CBS.COM, news release.
www.hsus.org...Those that help us watch out for our fine feathered and furry friends...

Religion.....

2007-03-12T09:47:00.000-07:00

"… all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." -- Jesus Christ

According to a poll, 65% of Americans know only 5 of the 10 Commandments in the Bible. How many do you know? Are any of them bent by you on a daily/weekly basis? There are no angels on Earth. Let’s confess.
On a more controversial point, 12 High School students in WA were suspended by the administration for holding a quiet prayer group in the commons area of their school. The group was interdenominational and anyone that wanted to join was invited. The administration explained that the students were not suspended due to religious involvement on school grounds but because they were “obstructing traffic.” Yet, at another school, they were well within their rights to hold a prayer meeting on the sidewalk, as they were not on school grounds. And, WA HS officials said it had nothing to do with religion?? Give me a break! Heaven forbid (no pun intended) we make a pagan or atheist mad!

1000 Journalists Killed in the last 10 years...

2007-03-08T14:04:00.000-08:00

...that is according to a report given by the NY TIMES. One thousand men and women dedicated to reporting the news from the front lines of War. Dedicated to the cause. Dedicated to being that one great reporter. My father was a journalist and reported first on many stories. He was a Marine in the Korean War long years before he became a journalist. I feel for the families of those lost. I pray for the soldiers fighting for our country and hope they can come back home soon.

Governor Henry in Iraq...

2007-03-07T12:52:00.000-08:00

Gov. Henry visits troops in Iraq
March 07, 2007

Oklahoma City – Governor Brad Henry was in Iraq today visiting Oklahoma troops on the frontlines of the war on terrorism. The U.S. Department of Defense and the State Department invited the governor to participate in a tour of the region to get a firsthand look at conditions where state soldiers are serving.

“Our Oklahoma troops are doing a great job under challenging conditions, and it was a great honor to meet with them in Iraq,” said Gov. Henry, who participated in the trip with Gov. Tim Pawlenty of Minnesota and Gov. Janet Napolitano of Arizona.

“I told our soldiers we are very proud of them and are praying for them everyday. They were anxious to hear news from home and wanted to let their families know they were doing well.”

Gov. Henry began his trip earlier this week with classified briefings at the Pentagon in Washington, D.C., and meetings with U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Secretary of Defense Robert Gates.

The governor landed in Kuwait on Tuesday where he received a briefing from U.S. military officials and had lunch with Oklahoma troops at Camp Arifijhan in Ali Al Saleem.

Later in the day, Gov. Henry flew to Baghdad to meet with Zalmay Khalilizad, the U.S. Ambassador to Iraq; General David Patraeus, the new American commander of the multinational forces; and several cabinet members of the Iraqi government. The governor then departed for Mosul in northern Iraq where he spent the night at an American military camp with Oklahoma troops stationed there.

On Wednesday, the governor was scheduled to tour the Mosul base and meet with soldiers from the Oklahoma National Guard’s 1345th Transportation Company. He was also scheduled to visit a Provincial Reconstruction Team in the Mosul area. The teams, led by U.S. diplomats and located throughout Iraq, assist in developing the Iraqi economy and governance.

The governor made a brief stop in Talil, Iraq before returning to Kuwait Wednesday.

In keeping with federal security requirements, the governor’s trip was not announced in advance at the request of the Department of Defense.

This was Gov. Henry’s second visit to Oklahoma soldiers stationed in Iraq. He made a similar trip there in February of 2006.
http://www.state.ok.us/governor/index.php