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Two Days a Year Just Aren't Enough...

“Give it to him, stupid!” I heard one of my kids snap at my youngest daughter as she grabbed the Father’s Day gift from her sister’s hands. The comment was complete, of course, with eyes of steel daggers, and venomous drool flowing from pursed lips. Okay, okay. So I am exaggerating a bit. That was Father’s Day a few years ago.

Father’s Day and Mother’s Day, two days of the year where, for a few blissful moments, we oh, so sweet children come together as the Cleavers did to honor parents that love us and …okay … hear the record scratch yet? Are all families really this way? Sure there may be families out there that share moments like this. Someone even wrote a book about them…they hailed from that sweet lil community called Stepford.

I am definitely not attempting to belittle anyone’s celebration. I will absolutely tell people I know Happy Father’s Day. I told friends and my own mother Happy Mother’s Day. It’s just that I make my mother know that on Mother’s Day (as I did with my father on Father’s Day) that those days shouldn’t be the only days.


Why do I dislike those days so much? I am the oldest of 5 children and there was the normal amount of bickering between us. I enjoyed honoring my parents on those 2 nationally recognized days. My dad would always tell me that he wanted us to honor Father’s Day everyday, not just one day of the year. My mom agreed.

I believe the way my dad did…that Father’s Day (and Mother’s Day) is something that you recognize year ‘round. I love my girls. My kids understand my thinking on the subject and reciprocate, for the most part…I mean kids will be kids…But, celebrations should be a daily (or at least a weekly) joy, not simply a yearly obligation. I don’t mean physical gifting either…kind words, a touch, a smile, or a gesture.


Like I said, kids will be kids…and mine are growing up now. They are learning what I have been taught, what I have heard. I am glad my mom and dad taught me early in life that two days a year just aren't enough.

Parents as PARENTS, and the Foundation of God

One of the most important aspects of a child’s life is the foundation of God. I speak from personal experience, both as a parent and a child growing up with this necessary groundwork. As parents we must be living examples of God’s love. It’s pertinent that we model this example through praying together, encouraging values and morals, and inspiring healthy, positive thinking in our children. Start early. Start now. Ask children what God means to them. Ask them what they think they mean to GOD. Reiterate God’s love and grace to them. Tell them of a forgiving God. Children may ask where God is. Time to break out The Word! Our love for our children and God’s love for us is evident, as is His existence. This spiritual basis is significant to the family as a whole. I could really use the nickels for every time I have heard a shrugging parent say, “everybody is doing it” and “every kid drinks.” So, therefor it is accepted? Who’s the parent here! What happened? Where are the "old days”? When was it that some dark, secret, teenage society came up with the idea that Mom and/or Dad being a friend would be way cooler? When was it that parents agreed to this concept of “befriending your child”?
While a child or adolescent wants to be independent, they still need the loving and spiritual guidance of their parent(s)/guardian. They require, and whether or not they ask for it, they want structured involvement, and boundaries. They can make friends in the school lunch line. Don’t cave when your child boasts, “I’m almost an adult” or “I already know what I am supposed to be doing (or what I am not supposed to do)” or, the ever so popular, “EVERYBODY is doing it!” Respecting independent physical, or thinking, behaviors doesn't mean that a parent should stop being a parent. For example, a kid can decide what to wear to a party, but it’s the parent’s job to set the limitations, one being the dreaded curfew. Establish reasonable curfews according to the activity. (Truly…what is there to do after a movie when it starts at 7 pm, and the curfew is midnight?) Ask questions! Just because a parent inquires, doesn’t mean they are prying in every nook and cranny. It’s pertinent to the child’s welfare to be aware of their interests, friendships, and whereabouts.
Let your child know you are there to communicate. Even if they don’t come you first (or at all), make sure he/she knows they can. Have open ears, and make not only rules, but also allowances that are meant to provide clean learning experiences. Be a positive, law abiding, spiritual role model for him/her.
No one tossed a manual to me after birth with a wink and snickered, “Good luck.” There is not enough Calgon in the world to get away from the typical head to head combat with a child/teen. I’ve heard my share of, “You’re ruining my life!” and “Stop treating me like a kid.” (While sometimes I want to pull my hair out and claim loudly, “Well, you ARE a kid. Look in the mirror!”, I am learning to keep my mouth shut and take a step backward.) This is where I raise a brow, exercise my fingers, break out The Good Book, and my Christian values cruise into play. So when you are challenged by your child, remember it is cool to be a parent, and to leave the camaraderie to the comrades. You're really not doing it alone, you know.

Can you spare the time?

Families in the 1950s sat at the dinner table morning and evening after mom turned off the modest black and white TV in the living room. Where did the time go? While technology skyrocketed its way to heaven, family-time has gone to hell. Don’t you have countless memories when waiting for that new person to care for; to cuddle, to share? How many times did you straighten those receiving blankets, caress the edge of the crib like a soft rabbit, or feel the round of a belly….Only to have drive-thru dinners in your kitchen, Styrofoam disks flying across the counter, with the television blaring? And, didn’t you have 4 kids? Where are those two other children of ours??
Sure, life is a busy place, but didn’t you take the time to (or many of you did) plan for this family? This has been on my mind lately. It’s “Family Fun Day”, not “Part of the Family Fun Day Because She Would Be Bored So She Went to a Friend’s House Day.” It’s not standing in the kitchen at 5:33 pm and 6:20 pm and 6:42 pm slinging cold green beans onto a paper plate along with something that looks like it might come up off of the foil, and then retreating to the living room and back to the latest episode of "something" on the Disney Channel.
Try something phenomenal. It’s called …are you ready for this?...eating together! *GASP* Yes, it means all at once. Did you know that FAMILY mealtime (along with proper rest, and less television also known as TECHNOLOGY) can actually improve your child’s health and grades?(1) Studies also show that children/teens that attend the family dinner table are less likely to abuse drugs!(2) STAY CONNECTED.An important key to being a good parent is knowing that the lines of communication are always open. Talk, and share your child’s day, even if it is all about iPods, a current crush, a bad hair day, or something that may seem insignificant to you. Don't drop the connection. Get involved again. Your family deserves it.


(1)http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/02/100208091916.htm
(2)http://family.samhsa.gov/get/mealtime.aspx

Is God in charge of Hell, and just WHO is He watching?

Hell is defined by the Catechism of the Catholic Church (paragraph 1033) - Wikipedia:

We cannot be united with God unless we freely choose to love him. But we cannot love God if we sin gravely against him, against our neighbor or against ourselves: "He who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him."610 Our Lord warns us that we shall be separated from him if we fail to meet the serious needs of the poor and the little ones who are his brethren.611 To die in mortal sin without repenting and accepting God's merciful love means remaining separated from him for ever by our own free choice. This state of definitive self- exclusion from communion with God and the blessed is called "Hell." (Wiki)

“Presently the Roman Catholic Church teaches that neither Heaven nor Hell is, in the proper sense, a place, created or uncreated, and that each is a question of one's personal relationship with the Trinity.” (Wiki)

The Protestants have their own views. One Protestant view of Hell is expressed in the Westminster Confession (1646):
"but the wicked, who know not God, and obey not the gospel of Jesus Christ, shall be cast into eternal torments, and punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power." (Chapter XXXIII, Of the Last Judgment-Wikipedia)

Author Peter Chopelas is quoting saying that “the idea that God is an angry figure who sends those He condemns to a place called Hell, where they spend eternity in torment separated from His presence, is missing from the Bible and unknown in the early church. While Heaven and Hell are decidedly real, they are experiential conditions rather than physical places, and both exist in the presence of God. In fact, nothing exists outside the presence of God. This is not the way traditional Western Christianity, Roman Catholic or Protestant, has envisioned the afterlife. In Western thought Hell is a location, a place where God punishes the wicked, where they are cut off from God and the Kingdom of Heaven. Yet this concept occurs nowhere in the Bible, and does not exist in the original languages of the Bible.” http://aggreen.net/beliefs/heaven_hell.html

The question is, who gets into hell? There are many scriptures that clearly state the only way to avoid “hell” is by not denying God and His word. As in John 5:24 - "Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life." And Luke 12:10 - “And whosoever shall speak a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but unto him that blasphemeth against the Holy Ghost it shall not be forgiven.”

My personal belief is there is no place where Satan stands high on a cliff waving his mighty pitchfork commanding the wicked to shovel more coal into the fire. But, rather a presence of a place. First of all, God created this spiritual place of condemnation, not Satan, so therefor shouldn't God be in hell just as He is in heaven? My depiction of Hell is much more than a physical location. I believe it is a crushed, spiritual sensation within the tormented or condemned, and the relationship the ill-fated have (or don't have) with God. Maybe it is a subconscious "place" for those who deny God's grace, and are sentenced to eternal condemnation; to be consciously aware of the tedium of pain, and of a literal or subliminal fire, boredom and suffering. This is not to say that I do not believe in "hell", but would a loving God of creation truly condemn His creations to eternal "torment"? God did say, "I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked" (Ezekiel 33:11)
Possibly only a sentence of a conscious death, as in Rom 6:23—"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Summer and the Kids...

Ok, so I haven't actually blogged in good while, but I want to start again. It's not only therapeutic, but fun and informative on occasion. I am going to start slow. For the next week or so I will be posting some activities for the family this summer? Get off the couch, turn off the Wii, PSP, XBOX, PlayStation6021 (kidding), and GO somewhere. Fine, text your kid that is upstairs on his or her bed listening to his or her iPod and GO somewhere. I am posting some links for the Oklahoma City Metro area, as well as some excursions (AKA) educational things to do, and places to go.


WARREN THEATER - Moore, OK
For the movie-goers, the Warren theater in Moore is offering their Summer Kids Series Season Passes. For 15 bucks you pay $2 to see a show. They will have 10 movies this summer. The movies are listed in the link.










Oklahoma City Zoo
On Wednesdays during July and August, your family can enjoy special retro pricing and receive admission to the Zoo for only $1! There will also be $1 rides and concession specials. (When we went to this event before the hotdogs, drinks, and popcorn were only 75 cents each!)





The Blue Whale - Catoosa, OK

Two hours away from the OKC metro, but a fun, historical place to picnic off of Rt.66.











How adventurous is your family? Try climbing Mount Scott! Medicine Park, OK. Take backpacks, picnic, take in the view. Don't forget your camera!







Swim parks and Spraygrounds! Great for ALL ages!
Earlywine Swim Park is in Moore, OK, or Mustang Water Park in Mustang, OK.

My Youngest

Flaunting smiles of honey and mischief,
She gently brushes hair of silk behind her ears.
With eyes, remarkably lustrous, she awaits the next discovery.

With each grin, she bares billowy cheeks of sweetness
and whispers faintly, perhaps to the creatures in the sand.
Her quiet laughter, the sweet sounds no harp can equal.

Her tiny figure is bent to unearth new endeavors.
Knees familiar with dust and play, venture from soft tresses of pale pink.
Her small fingers curiously test new boundaries of coarse ground.

Oblivious to the measures in the world around her,
with a furrowed brow she determines the importance of her findings.
Her eyes widen with rapturous understanding of a world of fleeting substance.

If only to be lost in the mind of a child once again,
to float freely in a cerebral land of contentment.

Copyright ©2004